2005-02-06 - 9:04 p.m.

It was 1994 and Eddie G was sporting a mullet with bits dyed blonde. The man truly is a visionary – a decade ahead of the times, although I bet the hipsters of the day laughed at him. Well, nowadays he’s rich and famous and the fashionable set are wearing a haircut that we saw on a professional wrestler ten years ago. Precisely who is cool? Who? WHO?

The card frequently cited as the primer to Lucha is the AAA’s “When Worlds Collide,” and god-damn if on watching that I don’t think it made a lot more sense than it usually does. Colour me predictable. The rest, I’m sure, will come with experience, and I’ve already got my eye on a few tapes that might be my next steps South Of The Border (the Channel Islands?)

The most-pimped match from When Worlds Collide is the Eddie Guerrero & ‘Love Machine’ Art Barr vs El Hijo Del Santo & Octagon hair vs Mask match. The amount of history involved in the origins of this match is next to unbelievable (but is admirably explained by Mike Tenay and Chris Cruise on commentary). El Santo (father of El Hijo Del Santo, hence the name), a national icon in Mexico, teamed for a while with Gory Guerrero (father of Eddie G), who fell more into the category of ‘a popular wrestler.’ When their sons joined forces too, many saw them as a dream team. Eventually Eddie turned on El Hijo Del Santo; initialy it was instigated by some mask-imitating foul play from Art Barr, but once it had happened the floodgates opened – Eddie was tired of playing second fiddle but doing all the work, and he believed the same thing had happened to his father when compared to El Santo. He and Barr formed the backbone of the Los Gringos Locos rudo (heel/bad guy) stable.

What of Art Barr himself? An American abroad, acting in accordance with all the stereotypes; a couple of years earlier he fought (at the time as a technico, or face/good guy) Blue Panther in a mask vs mask match (which is amongst the small amount of Lucha I’ve actually seen, albeit a heavily clipped version), and lost his hood through disqualification. He was ignorant of the local rules; unaware that piledrivers are banned in Mexico and considered an act of violence akin to shooting someone, he levelled Panther with a martinette (tombstone) and lost the match, sending his opponent to hospital in the process.

The battle lines were formed, then; the turncoat and the contemptuous, respect-less foreigner against El Hijo Del Santo, proud bearer of his father’s mask and defender of nearly a centuries worth of Lucha tradition. In need of a new partner, he joined forces with the extremely popular masked wrestler Octagon, and the two of them captured the tag belts. Eddie ‘n’ Art stole these titles in a match held in Chicago, through bribery of a corrupt referee.

With things approaching fever pitch, the only answer was a hair vs mask match. El Hijo Del Santo and Octagon (seconded by Blue Panther, another masked man) would defend their masks, symbols of the heritage and tradition they stood for. Los Gringos Locos (seconded by Louie Spicolli, another gringo) would put up their hair, and be forced to undergo the ritual humiliation of shaving each other’s heads if they lost. This had become more than personal; this was a war of ideology.

You begin to get an idea of just how tremendous Love Machine and Eddie G were at playing the complete dickheads as they made their way down to the ring. In front of a crowd of predominantly Hispanic origin in Los Angeles, what do they do? They mime swimming motions. Ooooooooooh, that’s below the belt. They people are ready to tear them to pieces; later on, Eddie becomes involved in another match and tries to escape through the audience. He can’t, as people are literally swinging punches at him whenever he gets too close to the barrier.

What better way is there to prove that you’re a dick, though, than to beat the good guys easily? It doesn’t work if you carry it on forever (being as I’m writing about wrestling on the internet I feel like I should start ranting about HHH at this point), but in short bursts nothing says “you cock, I want to see you get your come-uppance” more. This is precisely what they do in the first fall (Mexican Parejas rules, remember – best of three falls, both men need to be eliminated in each). After an initial bit of frustration, the rudos get Octagon out of the ring, and blaze straight through the technicos because they can. Barr picks up Santito on his shoulders, and Eddie leaps from the top turnbuckle to hit a brutal, wince-inducing frankensteiner and get the three count. Octagon returns and is quickly stopped. Eddie superplexes him from one turnbuckle as Art comes sailing off the other with the most impressive frogsplash I’ve ever seen. Una caida goes to the rudos, as Art Barr shouts “That’s made in America!” to the crowd.

Secunda Caida begins with a huge chant of “Me-hee-co” from a crowd desperate to do whatever they can to help rally the good guys. Eddie shows his contempt for his opponents as he offers to wrestle from his knees, before striking with the best thumb-to-the-eye I’ve ever seen (that may sound like an odd thing to say, but watch it. Never have I seen hatred and slapstick comedy combined so effectively in one simple movement). The technicos manage to swing the tide back in their own favour for a while, though, and get a chance to hit a stereo tope to the outside. Blue Panther is absolutely chuffed at that point. It’s heart-warming to see him jumping up and down with excitement.

The rudos regained control, though, and Eddie pinned El Hijo Del Santo after a top rope Frankensteiner. Victory seemed almost assured for them – one more pin on Octagon and they had it. The weight of defending not just his own mask, but the Santo family mask settled upon the shoulders of Octagon.

The rudos made the traditional pro-wrestling heel mistake of getting too cocky. Barr threw Octagon over with a back body drop before indulging in a little strut to wind up the crowd. What he hadn’t realised was that Octagon had landed on Eddie’s shoulders. Octagon secured a huracanrana for the three count and the good guys’ first fall of the match. Barr quickly returned to the fray, but in his frustration he easily fell for a side-Russian-leg-sweep, which Octagon then transitioned into a legs-locked-around-the-shoulder-to-pull-the-arm-back-type-wacky-Lucha-submission (Edit: Apparently it's an 'Octaclutch.' I apologise for my ignorance. I'm never very good with move names). He tapped, and the match was tied at a round each.

Even huuuuuuggggeeeer chants of “ME-HEE-CO” filled the arena as the decider began. The tone in-ring had changed considerably – not only had the action slowed down as fatigue set in, but the rudos were noticeably less cocky, breaking up their foe’s pin attempts with much more haste than before. Wonderfully, the moves of Eddie and Santito's fathers are employed (the camel clutch and the Gory special), but to be that extra little bit of a b'stard Eddie G tries to use the camel clutch against El Hijo Del Santo first.

El Hijo Del Santo is in the ring alone against both of the gringos. As medics arrive at ringside and stretcher Octagon away, he fights on bravely.

A chance for respite arrives when Eddie holds him in a full nelson, and Barr bounces from the ropes. Santito ducks, and Barr’s clothesline knocks Eddie out of the ring. Santito hops up to the top turnbuckle and soars off with a plancha suicida. Aptly echoing earlier events, the ref runs to attend to them as Blue Panther enters the ring…

Bang.

Piledriver.

It’s beautiful – so many emotions encapsulated in one pro-wrestling move. Panther would normally be far too honourable to use such a tactic, but this has become bigger than normal behaviour. He wants revenge for the injuries he suffered that were caused by Barr’s Martinette two years ago; he wants revenge for what he saw Barr do to his friend Octagon a couple of minutes ago; perhaps most of all, he wants revenge for every time Barr has spit on Mexican wrestling culture. He drives the Love Machine’s head into the mat and gets it.

Santito crawls back into the ring and collapses on top of Barr for the three count. Love Machine is out of the way, but our hero is in no state to take on Eddie G. This is the secret of making interference work in wrestling – Blue Panther didn’t end the match, he just gave El Hijo Del Santo a bit more of a chance.

Eddie hits a powerbomb on the half-dead Santito for a two count. A belly-to-belly superplex gets the same result. A frankensteiner from the top follows – the move that finished the technico in the second round – but still to no avail. Santo’s willpower is the only thing keeping him in the match, and the only thing keeping his father’s mask from the hands of the gringos. Eddie smashes him on top of his head with a dragon suplex, and only gets a two count yet again.

The old adage of “going to the well once too often” is frequently used in wrestling journalism. Here it becomes apt. Eddie grabs a full nelson for a second dragon suplex, but Santito is able to slide out. Rocking back and hooking his legs behind Guerrero’s shoulders, he rolls forward into a rana position. Eddie struggles but it’s too tightly locked in; he’s down for three.

Cue the crowd going… absolutely nuts.

The masks, and by extension Lucha Libre as a whole, are saved. A furious Eddie and a crying Art have to cut each other’s hair.

There are a few spots in this that aren’t as smooth as they might be, and I get the feeling some people would find that a cause for criticism, but to do so really would be a case of missing the wood for the trees. This is another one I have no hesitation in describing as one of the greatest matches ever. Make sure you watch it.

- Russ L

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